This post is just an emo-bitching-ranting-post, no reading of any kind souls required.
I don’t know what am I gonna do with myself, I’m seriously on the verge of breaking down. It’s just too much for me to handle! As if my mum’s constant nagging and comments isn’t hurtful enough, there’s the massive workload I’m being burdened with. Oh yea, and finals is coming up. I wanted to cry at this very moment but somehow my tears just wouldn’t come out.
Pressure, stress, pain, arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Let’s see, my mum’s up in Penang again because my brother went overseas. I just don’t get it, she has the tendency to think that whenever my brother’s away, she has to come up here to babysit me. Hello, do I look like a baby to you? Her ideal routine is for me to go to college, come back home after college, do my homework and then go to sleep. Mum, I now have a life already okay! Resulting, I can’t go out anywhere, and heck, I can’t even sleep whenever I want! And not forget the interrogation that I’ll get whenever I wanna go out. In my previous posts where I went clubbing with my friends, she made all sorts of assumptions that the way I wore my clothes were depictly cheap and all my friends are bad influences. Hello, mum do you even know them? And I’m not a dumb bimbo okay, I know how to choose my friends! I hate it so much when she comes into my room in the wee morning bugging me to wake up when it was just only 9am? And when I ignore her because I was still sleeping, she would go all emo on me. Mum, I need my own room and space alright. Just because I spent 24-7 on my laptop doesn’t mean that I’m doing nothing. I’m actually doing more than nothing, I’m working on my assignments! Which leads to another dreadful dreary topic.
I have this godforsaken CSS assignment where I gotta create 5 webpages consisting of news. I tried many times, first time failed I tried again, second time failed I tried again, third time failed I tried again, and so on. I am now on my don’t-know-how-many-failed-attempts-but-trying-again times and I seriously couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t wanna see CSS anymore. And another project of mine, Copywriting isn’t any better. I was supposed to meet up with my partner tomorrow for work but nooooooo, it’s not happening anytime soon. Why? Because apparently he has something to do, and it’s way more important than this project. So what can I do? Do it alone? Most probably! Honestly, I really like working alone where I do not have to rely on anyone but myself. Eugene, I know you’re busy, but a little commitment would help. But being a loneranger, I can cry, bitch, rant, whine all at my own expenses. We’re gonna have to get the unfinished brochure done by Monday and proposal plus presentation done by the following Monday. Photo class isn’t a happy place either. I loved what the subject is all about but eversince the start of the semester, all I’ve doing in that class in chatting online and blogging. Seriously, my parents did not pay my college tuition fees for me to go into class to blog and chat. I know most of my classmates are happy that there’s nothing to be done in that class but for me, it’s just darn stressful. I’m basically wasting 2 hours in class. Moving on to another class, the ever god damn excruciating Law. This class, yes it’s really interesting. I liked learning Law, it’s very eye-opening for me but, when it comes to answering the questions, I really don’t know what in the world he wants. He, as in my lecturer. However we answer, it’s never enough. And worst still, we can never score full marks for a factual answer just because it’s just facts, we can attempt to score on a opinion-based answer. (my classmates will surely know about this) How unfair.
Okay, I might be a tad too emo about my mum, I know she cares but she just gotta let loose a little, take in a deep breathe and realize that, I’m growing up! I’m no more the little baby of the family albeit I’m the youngest. And sometimes I do wish I have someone to lean on, as in really lean on. I know what it feels like to be helpless, I am afterall tough on the exterior but deep inside, I’m really fragile but I don’t show that to the world. I’mma tough cookie! I seriously can’t wait for the semester to be over, I need a break. For real, I do need a break. This period of my life has been really really hard on me, physically, mentally, emotionally and yes, it’s all related to teen angst. I have alot in me that I really wanna let out, damn.
That’s it for my emo-wordy-post. Mind my language and bitching. Word.
