I’m not going to explain myself of not blogging, because as usual being a student it’s always those assignments la and bla bla bla.

So let me start being the emo bitch that I am, scold me and fuck me upside down however you want but I’m still giving out a piece of my mind.

What I am going to talk about however is, about freedom of speech and privacy. Firstly, whatever I wrote on my god damn blog is purely my opinion and thoughts, so regardless whatever I say, this blog serves as my platform of voicing it out. Hey at least I’m bitching about problems in my life in the open, sharing is caring innit? I do complain, just like everyone else but why so serious? Can’t I bitch? People can talk bad behind me, at least I’m doing it in the open and how about having friends who shuts down their blogs just because their parents found out about it? What happened to freedom of speech huh?All you ever think is from your own perspective, what about me? Try thinking from my side, if people can actually be that empathetic. More like pathetic minus the EM.

I find it really therapeutic to rant here because, although everything is plastered on a screen and there’s no interpersonal contact present, after all not everyone can find a person to keep ranting on and on. I don’t blog for entertainment purposes nor for financial purposes, I blog for myself. I blog to keep my feelings at bay and to make sure I get my words out instead of letting it boil in on me, because I know I will snap and woohoo I just did an hour ago.

First thing I said to myself was, fuck my life. Why not? I’ve been an independent person although I’m not financially capable to take care of myself yet. I’m living in a house that is not my own, but I do cook my own food, wash my given car, fixing the car with my own money, feed my cat with my own allowance, I never missed any classes, I listen attentively to lectures and take down alot of notes unlike most of my classmates, I finish my assignments before the dateline is due, I do all sorts of things by myself without relying on people but at the end of the day, I’m still relying on people to provide me money, a house and paying the house bills. And I have people thinking that, I’m a spoilt brat who only knows how to enjoy life, shop for clothes, hangout with friends and all those things you can think about.  What about the capable side of me? Does anyone see it?

I never finish my allowance every month as I always have balance, and it has accumulate to quite a sum now, which I’m happy.  I have always wanted to be able to buy things for myself and all I wanted was a Coach bag of my own, which in truth I never had a proper bag of my own. Everything I used was hand me downs, from the bags, the clothes and accessories. I had my mum telling me, don’t worry you’ll get bags from your sister in law so save your money and keep it for another day. I beg to digress, as much as it is good to have freebies, how would you feel using something that used to belong to someone else? I understand, a Coach bag isn’t cheap but do people even know the price of the bag I’m eyeing? And I saved money to buy it, not like I’m forcing Hugo to or twist somebody’s arm to buy it for me.

You might think, this girl is darn materialistic just for a bag only, but to me it’s more like having something of my own, with my own effort.

Most of you will not understand anyway, so go tell my mother father brother cat or dog whoever you want about and let them give me a third degree burning and as usual I’ll just remind myself again, fuck my life. Maybe people feel satisfied when they see others having a ball of a time. But I shall remain positive and not being bitter.

? Wendy