When someone you love says goodbye unexpectedly.
I have been going through a yoyo roll of emotions eversince my dad left, it’s indeed very hard for me to accept that someone who’s been so dear to me is gone. I think of him every single day, whenever I am free to myself during daytime, and before I sleep. The images of him flashed in my memory spanning from my childhood to the last few moments. They are very vivid.
I just cannot help it to feel the emptiness in me, literally a part of me died with my dad. I kept glancing around the house, remembering the thought of seeing my dad used to sat at the giant sofa in the living room, sitting at the center of the dining table during breakfast, lunch and dinner, sleeping in the room, wearing his brand new pair of Crocs that my mum and I bought for him, drinking from the thermos my mum bought for him, everything is still so vividly etched in my mind.
I have just received my result slip yesterday for my previous semester’s final examination, when I saw what I achieved, I was so happy of my effort. I was saddened at how my dad could not see what I have done, he saw me studying so hard for it but he never lived to see the end result. He would be so happy of what I achieved for my results.
I am very heartbroken. 
Thank you very much Susan Boyle for making me cry even more than I already have.
♥ Wendy
gai…. it doesn’t accept Chinese characters =.=
keep it kicking!!! 8-}
Hi, Wendy, accidently I click in ur web , read some of ur story about how you descride about ur loss.
Refreshing me about my memory of my father and me .
My dad had lung cancer 13 years ago , I seen those treament you mention there , until today I still can see the picture , how my father suffer from the treatment.
He can’t eat or even drink for the last four month , all the food we put inside in mouth came out through his nose.
One middle of the night around 4 am , that night , my father just sleep beside me , and suddenly i heard a sound like water pouring out from the water tap so loud, wakes me up, and I saw blood coming out from my dads nose and mouth.
Thats the last time I saw my father , chinese new year 2002.
I cry once , after one week he past away.
I don’t know why , is been so many years , no matter why I go , or what I do , even when the time I was driving alone, I just feel like someone is be v me and I never feel alone.
Even eating BAK KUT TEH , I still pratice the way how the way my father use to PAU TEH .
Every year I travel back to Taiping and butterwoth, I feels like he is travelling with me .
And I still remember how my father teach me to pikat gal when I was in FORM ONE … ^.^
For many people would think ,is something that everyone have to face one day , SHEN LAO PIN SHI .
But for me, is feels just like a dream until today.
I dunno y i write this in your comment , mayb we had some in common experience , your are 21 , and i’m 18 at that time someone we love leaves us .
I can truly feel the pain in your heart .
And I know , some day some how this PAIN in your heart will makes you very very strong .
Take Care Wendy .
OMG Mao!
Mao is my friend’s bro, whose experienced the same thing, but many years ago. I even went to the funeral.
Take care you both.
from my xperience , jx don’t let those sadness following for too long , or those feeling will conquer ur heart , and is kinda dangerous when human being start to attach and enjoy sadness .